Growing Through Criticism: How Feedback Has Made Me a Stronger Leader
By Dr. Brian D. Wickstrom
Leadership invites opinions — that’s the reality.
Some feedback is helpful. Some is difficult. Some is inaccurate. And some is shaped by perspectives we may never fully understand.
Over the course of my career, I’ve received feedback from supervisors, colleagues, board members, student-athletes, parents, community members, partners, and teams. In some seasons, that feedback came in the form of praise. In other seasons, it came in the form of criticism.
Let me be honest:
Criticism is never enjoyable. But it is essential.
It has shaped me more than any success ever has.
Criticism Reveals Blind Spots — If You’re Willing to Listen
Every leader has blind spots.
Not because they lack ability — but because leadership involves managing so many moving parts that it’s impossible to see everything clearly all the time.
Some of the most valuable insights I’ve ever received came from feedback I didn’t expect:
A staff member who pointed out a weakness in communication
A student-athlete who needed more clarity
A colleague who challenged my assumptions
A board member who pushed me to rethink strategy
A mentor who saw something in me I hadn’t recognized
The leaders who grow are the ones willing to listen, even when the message stings.
Not All Criticism Is Equal — But All Criticism Teaches Something
Over time, I learned to separate criticism into three categories:
1. Constructive Feedback
This is the kind of feedback that makes you better.
It’s specific, actionable, and rooted in shared goals.
Even when it’s hard to hear, it’s meant to help.
2. Emotional Feedback
This comes from moments of stress, misunderstanding, or frustration.
It may not be perfectly accurate, but it reveals how people feel — which is valuable information.
3. Unjust or Misguided Criticism
Every leader faces this at some point — criticism shaped by incomplete information, outside pressure, or personal perspectives.
This type of criticism still teaches lessons:
How to communicate more clearly
How to remain calm under pressure
How to protect your integrity
How to distinguish truth from noise
How to stay grounded in values
Even unfair criticism can sharpen your leadership.
Criticism Strengthens Emotional Resilience
If leadership were easy, everyone would do it.
But leadership requires emotional resilience — the ability to stay steady when the environment isn’t.
Criticism taught me to:
Stay composed
Respond thoughtfully instead of defensively
Pause before reacting
Listen before speaking
Separate facts from emotion
Maintain dignity even in difficult situations
Resilience isn’t built in calm waters.
It’s built in the waves.
Criticism Has Made Me a More Empathetic Leader
When you experience criticism yourself, you become far more patient and understanding with others.
I’ve learned to:
Give grace
Assume positive intent
Ask more questions
Understand the pressures others face
Recognize that everyone has a story behind their actions
The leaders who grow through criticism don’t become hardened — they become more human.
Criticism Encourages Constant Growth
One of the biggest risks in leadership is believing you’ve arrived.
Criticism keeps you grounded.
It reminds you:
You can always improve
Your communication can always be clearer
Your leadership can always be stronger
Your relationships can always be deeper
Some of the most significant improvements I’ve made in my leadership came directly from constructive criticism.
It inspired changes in:
How I communicate
How I manage teams
How I handle conflict
How I build trust
How I make decisions under pressure
Criticism isn’t a threat — it’s a tool.
Facing Public Criticism Is a Different Kind of Challenge
In several leadership roles, especially in high-visibility institutions like athletics and education, I’ve faced moments where criticism moved beyond the internal organization into the public space.
Those moments test a leader’s:
Character
Patience
Ability to stay grounded
Emotional maturity
Commitment to values
Public criticism teaches you to:
Focus on your mission
Communicate clearly
Remain steady even when others are reactive
Let facts, truth, and long-term results speak for themselves
Stay anchored to your values rather than chasing approval
These are lessons I carry with me today.
Growth Comes From Reflection, Not Perfection
One of the most powerful leadership habits is reflecting on criticism rather than ignoring it.
Questions I often ask myself include:
“What part of this is true?”
“What can I learn from this?”
“How can I grow stronger from this?”
“How should I communicate differently next time?”
“How can this make me a better leader for my team?”
Leadership isn’t about perfection.
It’s about learning, adjusting, and becoming better every year.
Conclusion: Criticism Can Build You — If You Let It
Looking back on my career, I don’t remember every compliment — but I remember the criticism that made me better.
Criticism refined me.
It strengthened me.
It humbled me.
It sharpened my communication.
It deepened my empathy.
It clarified my values.
It made me a more thoughtful leader.
Growing through criticism is not easy, but it is essential. The leaders who embrace feedback rather than fear it become stronger, wiser, and more impactful.
Criticism doesn’t define you —
your response to it does.
Further Reading
• Leadership Through Personal Accountability
https://www.dr-brian-wickstrom.com/leadership-through-personal-accountability
• Ethical Leadership & Organizational Trust
https://www.dr-brian-wickstrom.com/ethical-leadership-accountability
• Executive Leadership Philosophy
https://www.dr-brian-wickstrom.com/executive-leadership-philosophy
